Entertainment - the Week of 13 Jan 08

By far this isn't a comprehensive list of EVERYTHING I listened/watched/read this week. But it is the most compelling thoughts about some of the things my overbearingly large head has absorbed this week, for better and worse:

Cute Is What We Aim For - The Same Old Blood Rush with a New Touch

I've had this album on my 'To Listen' list for...probably since it first came out in '06. It has a compelling name with equally compelling album art. Both of which totally gave me the impression for TWO YEARS that this was an ALL GIRL band.

Tell me, what would you do if you awoke one morning from your comfortable two year relationship with your significant other to discover EVERYTHING WAS A LIE. Key his car? Give her climitia? Well I can't do either of these things because they're an ALL BOY band from Buffalo, NY. Instead I'll just sit in the tub crying and scrubbing myself with steel wool and bleach until I'm committed.

Once getting past this dramatic event, I proceeded to find out that not only was everything a lie, but they're a TOTALLY OVERHYPED band. Their hooks are vastly unoriginal and the singer's voice doesn't stray beyond the melodramatic. It's simply uncompelling, neither venturing to the vocal heights of emo whining nor the depths of...whatever it is that always sings low. Perhaps The Julianna Theory (God they should have broken up long before they actually did)

Chobits - 24 English Dubbed Anime Episodes

Say what you want about Japanese senin series...or any Japanese manga/anime that strays away from Kick Em' Punch Em' anime like Dragonball Z or Naruto...(not bashing those shows BTW, love the stuff...and the term for that is shonen)...but I love this show. It centers around a universe where everyone owns life-sized androids called Persocoms, designed to mimic human emotions. These walking computers (because seriously there are no computers in this universe...it's like there was a mental block when they considered designing a computer that DIDN'T have legs) succeed to look and act so human that one owner, Hideki, falls in love with his android Chi, who is actually an advanced android designed to fall in love in return.

That IS the condensed summary. The fact that I could even condense it is a miracle. Anime is notorious, nay, REQUIRED to have complex often unsolvable plots with more twists than an Eastern Swing Competition. Take .hack//Sign for example. I couldn't explain that show to you without a couple of pie charts, schematics, and a cheap knock-off of Vanna White to keep you interested.

I still like it a lot. I want my own Persocom.

Dragonlance - Second Generation

I'm shamefully proud of my continued subjection to sci-fi/fantasy novels, mostly because I should be spending my time immersed in a category of literary filth that isn't one short evolutionary progression from the dreaded 'romance novel'...the variable primordial soup of literature. Hardly what you'd call the pinnacle of evolution, if you know what I mean.

Yet Dragonlance...and Star Wars for that matter, have and will remain a part of me. I divide my reading 50/50 between actual literature, contemporary and classic, and such filth. As you can see, I'm engaged in filth this week, after having a wonderful affair with my last book 'A Thousand Splendid Suns'

My Trial.

I've been absolutely exhausted this week.

After preparing Sunday/Monday/Tuesday to attend WLC, I arrived and 4AM and was put on stand-by. Which is no big surprise, because just like everything in the Army, you're never guaranteed to go anywhere or do anything until you're actually doing it. And even then, they may pull you away at any second for something they deem more important.

I didn't make it as you can tell. Because if I did I wouldn't be typing right now. I more or less couldn't care either way. On one hand I spent a good deal of money preparing for it and it will help my resume during my tenure with the enlisted side of the Army. On the other hand, January is an exceptionally cold month, and I don't look forward to doing field exercises in that kind of weather. I welcome the opportunity to do it when it's much warmer.

I've been entirely too exhausted this week as a result of two things. 1) Waking at 2AM that morning threw off my sleeping schedule 2) The responsibilities of my position has doubled in the last week.

What I mean to say by the second part is this: As an E-4 Specialist, I have been assigned to an E-5 slot, managing the legal actions of my battalion single handedly. Our battalion holds at least 250 personnel.

This I have been handling since November 2007. It took getting used to, but wasn't exceptionally difficult in my opinion looking back. It also kept me on just the right level of busy in my opinion. Most of the time I had something on my plate, but I could usually squeeze in a game or two of Desktop Tower Defense, the most amazing, and challenging, Flash game I've ever played. When I first discovered it I spent 8 HOURS one Saturday afternoon trying to beat it. Didn't.

Beginning this week I've taken over the brigade legal actions (an E-6 slot), as my current Sergeant Paralegal NCO is preparing for deployment. I've effectively taken over her job AND the job of another Paralegal that worked with her. I can comfortably say that I'm now handling twice the personnel actions and 2.5 times more work than I had to accomplish in the past. Not only that...I'm now in charge of managing tasks I've never done myself.

Take for instance, the court martial I have to prepare this Tuesday that's making me sweat bullets. I have to go pick up a witness from the airport tomorrow and take her to the hotel in preparation for her testimony on Tuesday. I have to set up the courtroom, prepare after-trial documents, and ensure that everything flows smoothly for shipment to the corrections facility.

All things I've never done before.

So these are the things on my plate this week and next, and the reason why after work I eat, plop down on my bed, and pass out for 10 hours before I get up and do it again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I'm just...acclimating.

Fred Thomson: Rock Of Transformation...Or Actual Rock?

It is my theory (and I use the science-y term theory to skate being held accountable to my thoughts) that Fred Thomson, actor, politician, Republican, and bastion of conservative ideals, may be a rock.







I'm not referring to his ability to mimic the physical characteristics of the steel biceps, tree trunk legs, eyebrow laden, rock hard abs of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson...my dreamboat of a man/wrestler/actor that makes my heterosexual heart swoon after he was able to add to his already impressive resume:

12 FOOT SCORPION!!!






No kind readers...that I would have voted for.

Nor do I refer to Fred Thomson in any way to IRAQ...which sounds incredibly close to the word 'rock' when your mouth is full of marbles.

(Though I'm sure his bowel movements operate in a similar fashion to Iraq's populace: too old and uncooperative to comply with anything we try to jam down its throat; on the verge of collapsing)





It is my conclusion dear readers that Fred Thomson is AN ACTUAL ROCK masquerading as a Presidential candidate.

If you'll observe the evidence I've collected:

1. During recent New Hamshire Debates and Fox News Debates, anytime and EVERY TIME a question wasn't directed to him, or candidates bickered with each other, he took the opportunity to remain silent, still, and tried his best to blend into the scenery...much like an inatimate object.
2. I have no number two...
   

...but I DO have a defense to the biggest hole in my conclusion:

"Rocks can't talk"

While this is true, I would like to point out that whenever he DOES talk it's always about Social Security. Which can only lead to one explanation:

Republicans engineered a rock with the maximum capacity of discussing only ONE issue, (in the mid-90s they simply didn't have the technology to construct a more balanced candidate) Consequently, they chose what they thought would be the most crucial issue of the 21st century...

It was either that or a rock that could only discuss President Clinton's scandalous private life....

They shoulda done the latter.

My Democratic Debates.

I just want to say first of all, after completely watching the New Hampshire Democratic Debates that I loved one particular exchange between Obama and Hilary when Scott Spradling challenged New Hampshire voters liked Obama more than herself. She replied…a little hurt:

CLINTON: He's very likable. I agree with that. I don't think I'm that bad.

OBAMA: (Wryly) You're likable enough, Hillary.

The man has gravitas. His Iowa caucus win made me as excited as a little schoolgirl on the first day of snow. I'm not going to lie to you; I love the promise of change from this Freshman senator, and the prospect of the first African American President of the United States. Even if he's from Hawaii…

I'm sure in future blogs I'll espouse the many features of Barack Obama I've come to admire. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got the New Hampshire Republican Debates to watch; Democrats of this season's American Idol: President Series have yet to dissuade me from taking a Republican candidate seriously…

GG Pakistan.

Good game Pakistan. GG, which is what we gamers usually type after we've completely dominated someone on the gaming front, and is what I feel compelled to type and submit to President Pervez Musharraf after listening to American Presidential candidates talk about the future of this country. Presidential hopefuls, especially Democratic candidates, love to stress their strengths in foreign policy by discussing what needs to happen to the parts of Pakistan harboring and training terrorists that are later sent into Afghanistan to fight American troups.

While watching the New Hampshire Presidential Debates I was just tickled to listen to Hilary Clinton say the following,

I think it's imperative that any actionable intelligence that would lead to a strike inside Pakistan's territory be given the most careful consideration, and at some point -- probably when the missiles have been launched -- the Pakistani government has to know they're on the way.

This is in general reference to launching pinpoint strikes against terrorist cells, but I couldn't help imagining this conversation actually playing out:

Musharraf: Just a minute hamshira, daddy needs to answer the phone. (Clears throat) Hello?
Clinton: Pervy! How's it hanging, been a little while since I last called. How're the little ones?
Musharraf: Hillary, what a surprise! Things are going beautiful at home, my granddaughter is crawling! Can you believe it!?
Clinton: They grow up so fast you know! Before you know it they'll be old enough to receive off-color remarks about their physical appearances...
Musharraf: ...
Clinton: I'm sorry Pervy, as you can tell I'm still a little bitter. That's not what I called. Listen, about how you've been running the government...
Musharraf: I've been meaning to call you about that. Listen, I know I just delayed elections AGAIN and fired my fourth set of Supreme Court justices but things are hectic down here! You wouldn't believe...
Clinton: Pervy, Pervy, Pervy...if I needed to hear bold face lies I'd attend marriage therapy with my husband. People are pressing me to crack down on this situation...you know how much we value the Democratic process here in the states (stifled giggle)...and we just can't do this anymore...
Musharraf: I don't understand, I can still fix this...
Clinton: No actually you can't Pervy...the decisions been made already, in fact that's what this phone call is about. A PATRIOT missile is headed right for your house and we're just giving you a courtesy call to tell you what's up...
Musharraf: (scrambling in background)
Clinton: It's no use to try and gather the family and run Pervy, you have five minutes tops to escape. And by the way, we slashed the tires to your car, sank your boat, cut the power to your house, and killed your dog.
Musharraf: Biscuit!? Why'd you kill Biscuit!?

Clinton: I'm sure there was a reason for that...hold on...(ruffles through pages)...it's somewhere in this raw data...you know what? I'll get back to you on that. But I really have to go. I don't want Barrack to catch me using the Oval Office phone again, he was pretty peeved after last time...(click)
Musharraf: (whimper)

My Worst Movie This Year.

I only made it twenty minutes into one of the worst films I allowed myself to watch this year, Shoot Em' Up, before shutting it off. Considering it's the beginning of a new year, that isn't the most difficult thing in the world to do, but let me explain.

I had reservations in watching it in the first place because it was such a box office bomb, and it puzzles me that Rotten Tomatoes would rate it 67%. It's ratings like these that remind me why I consider Rotten Tomatoes a mediocre movie critic's website.

The movie is horribly reminiscent of everything that's wrong with movies today; writers crafting wannabe Pulp Fiction scripts for the 21st century's 'less than attentive' movie viewers. I'm sure that they figure by removing all substance and character development they'll have more time to insert 'death-by-carrot' scenes and other equally 'transfixing' methods of death or dismemberment. It's supposed to be humorous, but somehow lands in the same category of humorous that I place 'Dead Baby' jokes and the other box office blunder 'Crank'. Jason Statham used to be such a good actor...

I would like to extend further congratulations for Shoot Em' Up being the worst titled movie since Snakes On A Plane. May my God forgive me for even calling these movies.

My Blogging History.

My blogging history is atrocious. Lately I've had no motivation to engage in the social networks of...the entire Internet. It's been an ENTIRE YEAR nearly since I last blogged on A Day In The Life of Lemuel.

That's right...I just linked my own blog to my own blog. Deal with it.

It's not to say that no motivation means I haven't tried to connect in different areas of NEWLY DEVELOPING FADS of Internet social networking. In the last month I created a Last.FM music account, a ImInLikeWithYou account, (which is a "social dating slash video game" website). How, you say, do you achieve such a task? That's what I wanted to know when I read it in a Wired article explaining how video games are pervading all society as we know it today. It's has the possibility to be a pretty addicting website...

All of this is on top of my Facebook, my MySpace, my iLike, my Flickr, and my drunken one night stand with Shelfari

I Twitter more than any of these things combined today, which has been sapped of all enjoyment ever since Liz coined it appropriately as "useless haikus" or words to that effect. I'll probably keep on doing it sometime soon.

Of course this blogging comes at the worst possible time since Tuesday I'll be leaving for nearly a month for WLC (Warrior Leaders Course). Basically it's a leadership course to the tune of going to Basic Training all over again. I am NOT looking forward to it. I've had to purchase nearly $140 worth of gear (gloves, flashlights, helmet covers, compasses) that I intended to spend on...well...anything else. I'm headed where I won't be able to access current events (much like Basic Training) or any other frou frou pleasantries that litter my room.

Of course one of the most annoying things is that I won't be there long enough to get a mailing address so I can write a letter, if I were so inclined to do so...

I do believe one of the biggest reasons for the possible return of my blogging is that I really need an activity that will allow me to sit stationary at my computer and sample new bands. An activity that takes concentration, but not so much so that I can't listen and critique new sounds emanating from my now 3+ year old 7.1 Inspire T7700 computer speakers.

For example, while I typed this I decided that contrary to Alternative Press' claims that punk band Against Me!'s new album 'New Wave' is a bold new sound in the face of a band that's struggling with alienating its fans after signing to a major label...that such claims are cock and bull. There old sound was better.

I'm now listening to Jimmy Eat World's older CDs to try and determine if I can love the old JEW as much as I love the new JEW. I'm wary but I must learn to have faith in JEW. They haven't steered me wrong since 'Bleed American' in 2001...

LOL, their band spells Jew...I just realized that...